Greetings
Thank you for trusting us in your healing journey. Please note that PsychMatters will be closed from Friday, 13th December 2024, and will be re-opening on Wednesday, 8th January 2025. In case of emergency, please go to your nearest GP, casualty hospital, or call SADAG’s toll-free helpline (0800 567 567). Darrian Long will be consulting up until and including 21stDecember. Kindly ensure that all sessions with Darrian are booked by 13th December as reception will be closed thereafter. Kindly take note that the rates will increase as of 1st January 2025.
We hope that you have a relaxing break and a lovely festive season!
The Gift of Forgiveness
As we approach the close of another year, we often find ourselves reflecting on the journey we’ve taken. It’s been a year of challenges, growth, and moments of grace. It’s also a time when we begin to look toward the future, setting new intentions and hopes for the year ahead.
One of the most powerful, yet often overlooked gifts we can give ourselves—and others—is the gift of forgiveness.
The Healing Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a gift that can transform your life and the life of the person we forgive. It is not about excusing hurtful behaviour, the wrongs of others or just forgetting the past. It is about freeing ourselves from the weight of anger, hurt, and resentment.
When we forgive, not only others, but ourselves for the choices made or the lack thereof, we allow ourselves to release the heavy emotional burdens that can hold us back. It’s a way of saying that the pain or grievance no longer has control over us, and that our peace and well-being are more important than carrying the weight of past hurts.
Why Forgiveness is a Gift
Forgiveness is a gift because it offers freedom—freedom from negative emotions that can cloud our hearts and minds. It allows us to move forward with lightness and clarity. While it’s often easier to hold onto pain, forgiveness invites us to let go of whatand who no longer serves us.
It’s also a gift to others too. When we forgive, we give the people in our lives the mercy and opportunity to heal and to grow. Whether we’re forgiving someone who has hurt us, or we’re seeking forgiveness from others for our own mistakes, the act of reconciliation can open the door to healing and deeper connection. When we do not forgive, we allow others to live rent-free in our hearts and minds and we unconsciously give them the power to continue to hurt us.
The Road to Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. To truly forgive takes time and effort and often doesn’t happen overnight, in fact. But even the smallest steps toward forgiveness can begin to shift our perspective. And that shift can bring profound changes in our relationships, our overall wellbeing and our sense of inner peace.
In moments when forgiveness feels difficult, remember that it’s not about forgetting what happened or diminishing the pain we’ve experienced. It’s about choosing to release the grip of anger or bitterness that may prevent us from experiencing joy, growth, and peace.
Steps Toward Forgiveness
If forgiveness is something you’ve been struggling with, here are a few steps to consider as we close out the year:
1. The first step is to acknowledge the pain. It’s okay to feel hurt. Acknowledge your emotions and give yourself permission to feel them fully. Only then can you begin the process of healing. This also allows you to take control of your reactions.
2. Choose to let go. Forgiveness is a choice, and that choice is yours. It doesn’t mean you condone the wrong done to you, but it does mean you’re choosing to release its hold on your heart. Luskin (2003) uses the TV remote as a metaphor for choosing the channel we watch on a day-to-day basis. Rather than remain on the grievance channel, we must regularly tune in to what is right in our lives: love, beauty, and forgiveness. Step into nature and be overwhelmed by its wonder or listen to stories of others that have forgiven under horrifying circumstances.
3. Practice empathy. Try to understand the other person’s perspective, even if it’s difficult. Empathy doesn’t justify their actions, but it can open the door to compassion.Patient x, who was held at gunpoint with her life on a thread at the shaky hands of a hijacker was able to process her trauma and truly forgive her perpetrator for the emptiness and desperation, and the deeper appreciation of her own life and a second chance to be loved by her loved ones.
4. Set boundaries. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to invite the person back into your life if it’s not healthy for you. Setting boundaries is an important part of the process.
5. Give yourself time. Forgiveness can take time. Be patient with yourself and understand that healing is a process.
Looking Ahead
As we move into the new year, may we carry with us the power of forgiveness—the ability to release the past hurts, embrace the lessons learned, and open ourselves to the future with a renewed sense of peace.
This season, let forgiveness be a gift you give not only to others, but to yourself. It’s a gift that keeps on giving, a source of inner peace that transforms our hearts and our lives.
Wishing you a peaceful and joyous end to the year, and a hopeful, forgiving start to the new one.
We are deeply moved by entrusting us with your healing journey and choosing us as your preferred service providers online and face-to-face. Our commitment to mental wellbeing and overall healing for our community is evident in the strength of our team – a psychiatrist, psychologists, social workers, homeopath, thai massage, pro bono support group and new to our service-offering in collaboration with PsychMatters is Eonia Day Sanctuary nestled in the hilltop of Linksfield Ridge overlooking Jozi 360 where Mahatma Ghandi was said to meditate for peace, and where 3 billion year old quartz rocks hold wisdom of our beautiful land. Anyone interested in facilitating mind, body, soul work (even corporate meeting spaces) please give us a call. Anyone interested in participating in connecting to your inner and higher self, and making personal development your prerogative for your benefit, the generations before you and clearing the path after you, please give us a call too. Come and visit Eonia on www.eonia.co.za.
This is your life, and that should not be taken away from you. Like a bridge over troubled waters, leave your troubles behind. I leave you with the beautiful vocals of Josh Groban and Brian McKnight – may this song touch your heart. Until we meet again in the new year.
Josh Groban & Brian McKnight – Bridge Over Troubled Water
With warmth and gratitude,
Joanna Kleovoulou and our fabulous team